How to Talk to Your Boss About a Co-worker You Hate - The Muse

How to Talk to Your Boss About a Co-worker You Hate - The MuseHow to Talk to Your Boss About a Co-worker You Hate So, how are things going at the geschftszimmer? I asked my dinner companion, a longtime business veteran who manages a small team. Last week, you mentioned some kind of conflict. What happened?She told me the story about how two of her employees were having trouble working together and then individually coming into her office to complain about the other person.Its frustrating, she said. Because one person will come into my office saying, so-and-so did this But when I ask the other person, did you do that? Theyll say, I never did that And vice versa. She sighed, heavily. Its becoming a he-said-she-said situation. I honestly dont know what to do.She ordered anotlageher martini. I mulled over the story, sipping my Old Fashioned. In your fantasy world... I began. When this kind of conflict happens, and an employee comes into your office to talk about it, what would you like t hem to say?She paused, considering. What I dont want is complaining and blaming. What I do want is a positive attitude. A desire to make things better, not just vent.OK, I said. So, what would that sound like, specifically?Several sips later, we came up with the following conversation script Hey Managers Name,Thanks for agreeing to meet with me today. I know youve got a lot going on, and I dont want to add anything more to your plate, but theres something Id like to discuss. Im hoping it wont take more than a few minutes. Before I begin, I want you to know that Im not here to vent or complain. Theres a situation thats come up- that Im a part of- and Im here to find a solution, with your help. So heres whats happening Whenever Other Persons Name does describe the thing thats causing the conflict, I feel describe how you feel. This situation has come up several times describe a couple of specific incidents. I respect Other Persons Name and I love being part of this team, but these fee lings are making it harder for me to do my work, effectively. And while I cant know for sure, Id have to guess that this situation is affecting Other Persons Name as well.I want to resolve this before it turns into a bigger problem, for both of us. Ive tried to resolve it on my own by describe something youve tried, but that didnt have the effect I was hoping for. I know theres a good solution, but Im not seeing it clearly, which is why Im here seeking some help. Im hoping that you might be willing to offer some guidance, hold a conversation with the two of us, or perhaps bring in an outside mediator or conflict resolution specialist. Again Im not here to vent or blame. Im aware that Im just as much a part of this conflict as the other person. Id really like to find a solution that makes both of us happy and strengthens the team.Thanks for listening.Something like that? I asked.Yes she said. If someone came into my office and said those words to me, calmly, Id be seriously impressed . Id think, this is a great person to have around. Someone I can trust to remain cool under pressure, and someone I might want to promote to a leadership level, someday.So, there you have it A boss-approved script to use the next time youve got a workplace conflict.Naturally, you may need to adjust the script depending on the nature of the conflict, your companys policies, and your relationship with your boss. But the main thing to remember isYoure there to find solutions- not rant, tattle, or uncork your emotions. Channel your inner peace-maker, and go set things right.